A Monster Inside
by Venovi Branches
Summary: after being forced to leave NeWs and watch one of his best friends die infront of his eyes,Yamapi decides that he cant live and ignore the fact that who destroyed his life is living his life as if nothing happend  crossover Yamapi/Bem .yamapi/kame
1. everything changes

**disclaimer:** _i own nothing_

**pairing:**_slight mention of pikame (kame/yamapi) but i intend to make it a new pairing which is yamapi/Bem_

_ kinda crossover ..._

**warning**:_slash , bad english..etc_

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><p><strong>Porlogue<strong>

He was devastated,how could he?how could Ryo do this to him ?he stormed out of the room with tears in his eyes."are you alright yamashita san?"said someone who he couldn't bring himself to answer then he just increased his speed ,running in the hallways feeling angry beyond belief

_Flashback/_

"you want to WHAT?"yelled yamapi .he was totally shocked of what Ryo had said "like I told you before yamashita-kun I'm going to leave NeWs and you are leaving with me"

said Ryo with a calm demeanor "but you cant do that ! you cant take me away from my band !i'm their leader !without me they will be lost and they would think that I betrayed them !you leave if you want to but leave me out of this !"

yamapi was now going hysteric with his wide eyes that held unshed tears

"its for the best yamashita-san believe me if you stayed longer you will go down with them , your popularity has been decreasing and almost nobody cares for NeWs except because you and me are in it "Ryo said with the same calm and cold voice

"But Ryo they are our friends ! we've spent years together ! I promise you i would work harder and be a better leader just don't do this to us !"yamapi was now kind of desperate , he really didn't want to leave his band and break that special bond with them .

he didn't want what happened to his friend Jin to happen with him , jin now doesn't even stay in japan except for few months then he leaves again .he got to know a new world and he forgot his world with his friends in japan he has changed . although he is successful he is completely alone in that shallow world of his.

"you have no choice in this matter yamashita-kun !" yamapi just glared then he yelled

" oh you think we cant survive without you? you will be the one who will lose everything !"

yamapi honestly hoped that was true .Ryo just laughed and waved him off "yamashita-kun , you only speak of yourself in that matter without considering other's opinion. Maybe they wouldn't like that idea. Maybe they actually want you and me out ? have you ever thought about what they think ?"

said Ryo looking smug with a smirk on his face. Its true that the band had fights together but they always came back like brothers and forgave each other. "you're wrong! I know them !i know my friends enough to be sure that they wont betray me or want me to leave , I'm not coming with you!" Ryo looked seriously at him then and said

" you pushed me into this yamashita-kun , I wanted to make it easy but seems like you wont understand , Johnny will fire you anyway no matter what you do because I'll make sure of it if you didn't come with me" yamapi then looked puzzled" and how exactly do you plan to do that?"

Ryo then just took out some folder then threw it at the top of the desk "open it" said Ryo with a low cold voice then he sat back smiling , his smile creeped yamapi so much

its as if he knew something that he didn't and that something would be his downfall . yamapi got curious then picked up the folder then he opened it

"where did you get this from ?"said yamapi shaking with disbelief .Ryo just smirked and said

" these pictures are of almost a whole year , that to prove that you are irresponsible as a leader and as an idol who people like and if this kind of stuff get out ,Johnny wouldn't risk his reputation with someone who could possibly bring a very big scandal to his company, also your friends wouldn't be pleased .think about how would they feel if they knew this secret of yours ,they would want Johnny to fire you or remove you from the band, or worse they could tell anyone and the news will spread like fire then not even Johnny can save you or any other company will hire you in case Johnny fired you" with every word yamapi shook more with fear , he was doomed and he cant do anything about it

"fine, I'll do whatever you want just keep it a secret and destroy every evidence" Ryo just nodded

"alright , tomorrow you go to johnny's office then you tell him you want to withdraw from NeWs and quit singing and if he asked you about the reason say whatever you want I'm sure you can manage something like you're tired or something I don't care just do it and leave "

yamapi nodded looking defeated but then looked up "why are you doing this?" yamapi said with a choked voice .

Ryo just stared "I wont accept being defeated by anyone , not you or anyone else. I told you before I'm going to be the best and I wont hesitate removing competition from my way even if it was you " Ryo then turned and left with a soft click from the door . yamapi just glared at the wall like if it was its fault now with tears that he was holding running free on his face.

_End of flashback/_


	2. facing the end

**disclaimer,warnings and pairings_:_**_see chapter 1_

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><p>Its 9 in the morning, yamapi just woke up from the alarm clock that moves when ticked 'I still wonder why do I keep this annoying thing'<p>

he ran after it to shut the alarm off. The small clock was a present from tegoshi on his birthday

. tegoshi chose an alarm clock because when the band used to stay together on holidays or work they would find difficulty with waking yamapi up .

koyama always joked about yamapi being a walking corpse during breakfast time .thinking about his friends made him sad and on the brink of tears ,

how could he do this to them without them getting hurt? They would think he thought of them as failures and that's why he left them. But he can never risk staying with them ,now that Ryo has blackmailed him he cant bring them down with him if Ryo decided he was getting on his way. How fooled was he to think Ryo was their friend. That they would go against everything together.

Wallowing isn't going to help now anyways. Yamapi got ready for his final farewell . he arrived there earlier than usual . he asked the secretary if Johnny had any appointment in the next hour and she answered no so he went in Johnny's office. A knock was heard on the door "come in" said Johnny . yamapi then opened the door and went in

"oh, to what do I owe the pleasure of you visiting me this early yamashita-kun?" then Johnny motioned him to sit which is what yamapi did .

"I'm sorry to disturb you Johnny san but I have something important to tell you"yamapi was now nervous _'damn you Ryo'_ he thought but this was it and

he cant back off of it .johnny just looked at him expectantly"I want to quit work Johnny-san I cant continue this" Johnny looked shocked"why is that yamashita-kun?" his tone held some kindness to it

"I just cant I'm sorry" Johnny looked at him carefully then said"are you sure about it? "yamapi just nodded" but what about your friends? Did you tell them anything?" yamapi just shook his head ,seems like he cant speak or he will crack and cry infront of Johnny." Fine then , I cant stop you but I wish for you the best of luck "Johnny then raised his hand to shake , yamapi shook his hand briefly

"goodbye" Johnny nodded and smiled "good luck yamashita-san it was nice working with you" yamapi just nodded then left and closed the door behind him.

He ran to the elevator as fast as he could but he pumped into someone who yelled his name when yamapi was finally in the elevator safe and alone to let his tears fall .

he recognized the voice as Kame who his voice sounded concerned . doesn't matter anyway even kame will forget about him as soon as he left this building but first he has something to do , a final farewell .

after few minutes of walking he reached their practice room where he found his band members_ 'good all of them are here'_

he then glanced at the room and found Ryo's smug face which he really wanted to smash right now. Ryo left silently and nobody noticed but then cleared his voice and everyone looked at him "WOW, weird don't you guys think ? yamapi is actually up and early for practice! Is the sky falling down or something?"

koyama joked and shige chuckled at his joke. Tegoshi smiled and said " don't be harsh on him guys maybe he slept early yesterday well,earlier than usual I guess"

massu looked at tegoshi then back at yamapi somehow something isn't looked at them with sad eyes then said" there is something I have to tell you guys" they looked at him with questioning looks.

"I'm leaving the band ,Johnny's entertainment and the whole singing carrier" a minute of silence went by then suddenly koyama and shige started laughing and rolling on the floor

"yeah right" koyama barely managed to say "you got us fooled for a second there" then suddenly" why are you leaving?"

tegoshi said who seems that he is the only one who understood whats going on from the look of yamapi's serious and sad face.

Everyone stopped laughing and looked at tegoshi "tegoshi he is just kidding"everyone went silent and the smile fell of their faces "you're just kidding right ? right?" koyama seems to get it now

"WHY IS THAT ? WHY ARE YOU TELLLING US THIS NOW YOU'RE JUST ABANDONING US?" shige shouted at yamapi who just couldn't look at anyone in their eyes and just stared at the wall instead.

"just a few minutes ago I was in johnny's office I gave my resignation and he accepted it I'm leaving and today is my last day to walk in this building" yamapi then turned his back and left with everyone staring now at the closed door In shock . yamapi ran out of the building as fast as he can . he oddly thought that he has never ran this much in his life not even while racing with jin when they were juniors. he ran and ran and ran until he was out of breath

"what should I do now ? what should I do?"


End file.
